Hi you.

It's been a year since that conversation we had. Time flies, huh?
I know we haven't spoken much since, nothing really in depth anyway. But I've constantly wondered how you were coping with life, ministry, with everything else. I wondered if you were struggling with the things you used to tell me about. I wondered if all is well with you.

Not that I've been avoiding you. Okay, I did feel a little weird and awkward.
I guess I needed time and space to process everything, to sort things out, to seek God, to pick up the pieces in my life.

As bizarre as it sounds, letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I never knew I could cry so much over a person. Perhaps, I was greatly disappointed. And I don't know how I've come to allow myself to build so much hope and expectations on a person.

Much has happened since. And the one thing God revealed to me at that period was, how I've placed you as an idol in my life. I'm actually embarrassed to say that, a lot of things in my life did revolve around you. When things didn't go the way that I've hoped for, everything else crashed. I suppose God was showing me how foolish I was to build my hopes on man. It's like building a house on sand.

It was in that period that God reminded me,
"I will have no other gods before me."

That reminder broke my heart. I really don't know how I've allowed someone, or something to take the place of Christ. So, I had to cast out my idols.

To be honest, my perspective of you hasn't change one bit. I still haven't found the likes of you, and you're still as AMAZING as I thought you were. One thing has changed though: my focus. I've forgotten that you are who you are today because of He who is molding you. I can only imagine how many times you had to die to self in the past. My focus have shifted to the One who is greater and above all things - it shifted from an unfinished masterpiece, to the artist behind it.

I would have loved to tell you all these in person, but I'm just too embarrassed to say it. I really felt like digging a hole and sticking my head in the last time I had to tell you something like this. Perhaps, one day, you'll stumble across this place again. Or perhaps not. But do let me know if you see this? You know who you are.

I guess I just wanted to tell you my story, and that I'm okay. Thanks for being part of my life.